loved this retelling of john 4. link via maggi
Jesus Talks With A Gay Man
1
In late July, the Metro Chicago Synod heard that Jesus was attracting
more first-time visitors and baptizing more adults than any other ELCA
pastor in the city, 2 although in fact it was not really Jesus who had
baptized them, but his irregularly-commisioned staff of unordained lay
ministers. 3 Now when Jesus learned of this, he left the seminary
community in Hyde Park and went back once more toward the ELCA
headquarters on Higgins Road.
4 Now to get there, he had to go
through an area just north of downtown called Boystown. 5 So he came to
a part of Boystown called Northhalsted, not far from the plot of ground
where Emperor Mayor Daley had ordained that the
Chicago Cubs should play baseball. 6 Cub's Stadium was near there, and
Jesus, tired as he was from the journey on the Red Line, sat down at a
sidewalk café table outside the bar called Hydrate. It was just about
lunch-time, and though the rainbow flags were fluttering in the breeze
and the music inside the bar was pumping, there weren't many people
around (because it's often hot and miserable outside, at mid-day in
late July, in Chicago).
7 A waiter came to the table, wearing a
bright pink "His+His" t-shirt and a "Silence=Death" armband, and raised
one eyebrow at the man seated at the table in front of him in the "Come
Follow Me" t-shirt. Jesus said to him, "Will you give me a drink?" 8
(All the lay ministers had gone down the street to pick up Subway
sandwiches for the rest of the journey.)
9 The gay man said to him, "Hey...you tell me. After all, you appear to be a straight Christian, and I'm a gay man. Let's face it - we don't get many religious folks in Boystown, let alone places like this. And I'm not only a gay man, but I'm a Muslim gay man. So where does a guy like you get off asking someone like me for a drink?" (For Christians do not associate with gays, nor with Muslims if they can help it.)
10
Jesus answered him, "If you knew the gift of God and who it is that
asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given
you living water."
11 "Hey, mister," the gay man said, "I'm the waiter here. I don't see you with an order pad or a serving tray, and it's tough for customers to even get close to our fountain-drink station, let alone our bar. So how are you going to get anything for me to drink, let alone 'living water'?
Where can you get this living water? 12 Are you somehow greater than
the folks who own this place, who let us drink have free water and soda
(and snitch the occasional mixed drink) whenever we want?"
13
Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks your water, or your soda, or your
beer will get thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks the water I give him
will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a
spring of water welling up to eternal life."
15 The gay man said to him, "Yeah? Mister...you know what, I have no
idea who you really are, or even what the heck you're talking about.
But you're the first Christian man in 20 years that hasn't spit on me,
or called me 'an abomination' to my face. Somehow, I think I want some
of what you're offering. Give me some of this water you keep talking
about, so I won't get thirsty and have to keep coming here to get
something to drink."
16 Jesus told the man, "OK - just call your wife and come back here, and we'll talk."
17 "Who are you kidding?" the gay man said. "Don't you know where you are? You're in Boystown, for cryin' out loud. I don't have a wife, or a girlfriend. Heck, right now I don't even have a boyfriend," he replied.
Jesus said to her, "You're right when you say you have no boyfriend. The fact is, you've had five boyfriends, and the guy you're living with now isn't even your boyfriend. He's just a guy you picked up in the club - some guy who doesn't even know your real last name."
19
Whoah, buddy," the gay man said, "that's pretty intense! How'd you know
that about me?" Jesus was silent. "OK...I get it. Maybe you're one of
those folks who can see right through people - maybe one of those guys
with 'second sight.' Maybe you're one of those folks who 'have the
Spirit,' like those televangelists say. 20 I don't know anything about
that. My family - my people (the ones who are observant, anyway) -
think that you have to pray five times a day to Allah to get that kind
of power. The rest of the people I know don't even bother with that
spiritual mumbo-jumbo...they just think you have to work out a lot,
look good, live fast, die hard and leave a good-looking corpse. And all
the Christians I've met think that I have to pray their way,
and start living life their way, or I'm 'going to hell.' Either way, my
day-to-day life is so empty, I'm not convinced that I'm not already in hell. What's a guy supposed to believe?"
21
Jesus said, "Believe me, my friend, a time is coming when you won't
worship God in Mecca, or in the gym, or in the club, or in a church
sanctuary. 22 You and your friends worship what you think you know, but
do not know. Christians worship what they do know, for salvation is
promised in Scripture. 23 Yet a time is coming - and has now come
- when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth,
for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. 24 God is spirit,
and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth."
25 The
gay man said, "I know that the church folks say that their Savior is
coming. Maybe when he finally gets here, he will explain everything to
us."
26 Then Jesus declared, "Then wait no longer. I'm the one they're waiting for."
The Irregularly-Commissioned Lay Ministers Rejoin Jesus
27
Just then the lay ministers returned and were more than a little
surprised to find Jesus apparently talking with a gay man - one who
appeared to be Middle-Eastern in origin, to boot. But no one asked,
"What do you want?" or "Why are you talking with him?"
28
Then, leaving his tray and his order pad behind at the table, the gay
man went back to the bar, and even next door to the gym and to the
other clubs, and said to the people, 29 "You gotta come and see
this... come see a guy who told me everything I ever did, and didn't
run away or act disgusted. Could this possibly be 'the Christ' all
those religious folks keep talking about?" 30 People came out of the
gym, and out of the bars and clubs, and made their way toward him.
31
Meanwhile the lay ministers (the ones who considered themselves Jesus'
disciples) kept saying, "Hey, padré, you may walk on water, but come on
- even Michael Jordan's gotta eat something." 32 But Jesus said to them, "I have a source of energy that you know nothing about."
33 Then his disciples said to each other, "Did someone slip him some Mrs. Field's cookies while we weren't looking?"
....
Many Gays and Lesbians Believe
39
Many of the gays and lesbians who gathered from all around Boystown
believed in Jesus because of what the waiter said: "You gotta come and
see this... come see a guy who told me everything I ever did, and
didn't run away or act disgusted." 40 So when the people of that area -
gay men, lesbians, bisexuals (even people in civil unions from Vermont
and Episcopalians visiting from New Hampshire) came to him, they urged
Jesus to stay with them. So rather than continuing the ride out to
Higgins Road, the irregularly consecrated lay ministers found some
rooms at a nearby bed-&-breakfast, and he stayed in Boystown -
amidst the people with whom most Christians would not associate - for
two days. 41 And because of what Jesus spoke to the men and women
there, many more became believers.
42 The people who heard Jesus
said to the gay man who first encountered him, "We no longer believe
just because of what you said; now we have heard for ourselves, and we
know that this man really is the Savior of the world."
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