jonnybaker

waiting and silence

waiting and silence is a new video on proost made by paul hutchinson and narrated by pádraig ó tuama.it is a  28 minute documentary, which explores a quaker meeting during an act of worship. it's perfect for lent exploring the role and function of silence and contemplation in our society. delighted to have this land at proost which continues to surprise against the odds with all sorts of creative content... there is a trailer here on youtube which gives the flavour.

if you follow the blog you'll know i am a big fan of silence - see for example the presence of silence

margins to mainstream, mainstream to margins

a couple of weeks back i was invited to lead the opening worship/reflection/prayer at the fresh expressions gathering at southwark cathedral. (the last time i led anything there was with grace at the time of our lives festival in 2000!) the title of the conference was from margins to mainstream which i think is provocative - i am certainly trying to get the gravity flowing in the other direction in most of what i do. anyway i posted something in facebook about what those at the margins might say by way of blessing to the mainstream and vice versa. of course lots of people refused to play the game and deconstruct the whole thing which i get. but anyway i asked harry baker to take what had been said and weave the comments into a blessing which he did. several people have asked for it so it's posted below. 

the worship pieces for those who asked were 

but in silence by flock (chris and harry) which led into silence

before the silence i shared that the reading for the day was one phrase 'christ with us' inspired by sam wells latest book (which is amazing btw) a nazereth manifesto in which he says the word 'with' is the most important theological word. during the silence i shared some images of christ to reflect on that notion of christ with those at the margins and those at the mainstream - christ the king which i suggested was a mainstream image, and christ the migrant a more marginal representation (i like this take of the holy family as boat people). 

we then prayed by writing prayers on luggage labels with the word hope on one side and grief on the other - and placed them in a suitcase to offer prayers for the journey in whichever direction of travel we were heading (margins to mainstream, mainstream to margins).

and then harry concluded with this blessing

Margins to Mainstream, Mainstream to Margins
Mainstream to Margins, Margins to Mainstream

Can you hear me?
Lean a little closer.
Let’s talk!
Would you like a cup of tea?
We need you and we want you.
Wish you were here!

Margins to Mainstream, Mainstream to Margins
Mainstream to Margins, Margins to Mainstream

I Inhabit both and I don't feel at home in either
One persons margin is another persons mainstream
One person's edge is another person's centre.
Some of us were made to be edge-dwellers
We are all on the margins of something
Let us do our thing
We are so very much more than a label.
There's enough God for everyone
Come inside and learn from previous mistakes.
Come outside and learn from something new.

Margins to Mainstream, Mainstream to Margins
Mainstream to Margins, Margins to Mainstream

May we be open to embrace other people’s margins
May we be open to embrace them into our mainstream
Some of us were made to be edge-dwellers
Some of us are at home in the centre.
Margins to Mainstream, Mainstream to Margins
May we be open to conversation between the two

i am making it all a worship trick - no 60 in the very sporadic series 4!

lighting beacons - worship trick and it's free...

lighting beacons is a set of daily prayers and liturgy - short simple creative. you can download a pdf of it free from proost - yes that's right it's free. or you can visit this web site online and click on the day and time you are on and read there. i have just downloaded it myself and am yet to give it a whirl (that is if you can whirl liturgy?!). 

thank you tim watson (who is becoming one of the most prolific emerging liturgists i think…), dot woods and josh walker for this gift.

if you want a physical copy you can order a paperback at cost price here.

so this is a worship trick - 59 in series 4 i think….

put down all your weapons

the last grace was close enough to low sunday (is there a low saturday?). and steve collins led a wonderful grace SENSEOFDOUBT inspired by the story of thomas for whom easter didn't happen. the outline of the service is here in the grace archive and includes some gems...

it was a reminder for me how sometimes simple can be very powerful - there was a slideshow with words and a fabulous soundtrack to accompany it and plenty of space - the tracks are listed and you can download the slides. one beautiful track i hadn't heard before (and got rebuked for shazzaming when i should have been meditating upon it!) was weapons by son lux which has the extraordinary line which i have thought about since and indeed used yesterday with pioneers at cms...

put down all your weapons
let me in through your open wounds

this was a prayer

We thank you Lord for the story of Thomas
showing us that faith was never easy
and that doubt never breaks your love for us

We lift up to you our demands
show me,
prove it,
give me a sign NOW
our doubts
may your peace be with us

We offer you
Our fumbling answers
when others tell us
you are not
proven
may your peace be with us

We offer you
Our pain
And reticence
When we hold back from rejoicing
Because others can’t
may your peace be with us

We ask you
To meet those
In need of peace
In need of blessing
In need of an end to their waiting
may your peace be with them

We do believe,
help us overcome our unbelief

am making the whole thing a worship trick - 58 in series 4...

open our graves

come now, disturbing spirit of our god,
breathe on these bodily things,
and make us one body in christ.
open our graves,
unbind our eyes,
and name us here;
touch and heal all that has been buried in us,
that we need not cling to our pain,
but may go forth in your power
to release resurrection in the world

this lovely prayer is by janet morley in all desires known, part of an easter communion, and is one i have come back to several times this year. happy easter! christ is risen

we've got poets! worship trick time (first in ages)

i have been reading soil and soul by alastair mcintosh. it's amazing. it's the story of how he and others set up the isle of eigg trust and managed against the odds to help the residents of the isle of eigg to clear their laid from the estate. it's a reminder that you don't have to settle for the way things are and in relation to money and power this is so important. it's a also an incredibly spiritual book - on the relationship to land, community life. he is inspired by walter wink's trilogy on the powers which suggests that in the face of any domination system a process of liberation involves naming the powers, unmasking the powers and engaging the powers. 

i have been thinking particularly about the internalised scripts and messages people tell themselves that end up imprisoning the imagination. if we are to be free this internal stuff has to shift - we have to learn to believe a different script, a different story. i have been reminded of this through lent as ian adams daily prayer series temptations in morning bell (see here for photos of all the scripts) has been a simple taunt/script that is precisely this kind of thing. it's a wonderful series and it got me thinking what my own taunts or scripts are that stop me from being free. certainly the islanders are not initially free in their own minds and a big part of the liberation is enabling them to begin to believe a different narrative about themselves and their relationship to the laird and the island. once that happens victory seems inevitable. 

my favourite paragraph in the book that produced a massive grin on my face was where alastair is reflecting on how ridiculous the situation is - the trust has no resources and the odds are stacked against it. the laird has power, money, control, friends in high places and so on. but there is this great moment where macintosh says with utmost sincerity 'but we do run on poetry'!!! i loved that. the community bards have been the story tellers at the heart of life on the islands so it's with a good basis. but this struck me as wonderful and so like the nature of the kingdom of god and indeed at this moment so like the easter story. 

so… last night we had a meal with friends from grace in our kitchen remembering the last supper jesus had with his friends. that was a meal about liberation from a domination system - a passover meal - remembering the slaves exodus from pharaoh's tyranny. jesus of course reframes it for his own life and death opening up liberation. well after discussing ian adams taunts and what we might need freeing from we proceeded to write a liturgy to share with bread and wine round the meal. it was simple - start a line with 'we've got…' and add something and then one with 'you've got…' and add something. what we came up with is below and of course it is called 'we've got poets'. and i think it's worthy of being a worship trick - 57 in series 4. try adding your own lines!

you've got the answers
we've got poets

you've got tunnel vision
we've got a wide horizon

you've got control of the media
we've got a pen

you've got cities of cement
we've got music

you've got the power to make people afraid, to keep them contained and compliant
we've got a different story, a creative resistance, relationships that sustain and nourish us

you've got management
we've got compassion

you've got viciousness and aggressiveness to scare
we've got meaningful relationships that heal and lift us

you' make people rely on handouts
we've got allotments

you've got surveillance
we've got openness

you've got appetite
we've got creativity

you've got the present
we've got future hope

you've got isolation
we've got mail

you've got iphones
we've got iphones

you've got destructiveness
we've got the power to rebuild with gratitude

you've got lawyers, superinjunctions, court costs that bankrupt the innocent
we've got citizens advice bureaux, amnesty international, pro bono solicitors working into the night

you've got shoulder pads and hello magazine
we've got a real example of a selfless life

you've got control of several churches
we've got a small group

you've got a porn empire
we've got our bodies

you've got the time and date
we've got a relaxed attitude to the whole thing

you've got the reactionary press hooting and braying at anyone different fighting on behalf of the powerful
we've got underground whispers, blogs run on love and creativity, networks of people who want a better world

you've got machinery
we've got mustard seeds

you've got tradition, the way things have always been done, the status quo
we've got a different story, anew way of doing things, a vision of how things can be better, more equal, more free

you've got no idea about anyone else
we've got each other

you've got Whole Foods™  
we've got bread and wine

you've got death
we've got resurrection

this hasn't been crafted - just a spontaneous piece of liturgy... we were set off on what i think was quite an interesting thought by the line about iPhones and thought an equally interesting liturgy would be to have both things the same all the way through. you've got a story we've got a story etc but maybe that's for another time...

tend - grace next saturday

next saturday tend sees grace focus on prayer drawing inspiration from st teresa of avila who many attribute to be one of the key inspirations in contemplative prayer. we now have a cycle of services at grace that flow through a focus on art | word | bread and wine | prayer. a couple of years back i curated a service inspired by john of the cross which i really enjoyed doing and has lingered with me ever since (and indeed i subjected students at ripon college cuddesdon to a eucharist inspired by the same last december) - i guess this is a similar kind of thing though the set up will not be quite so elaborate.

one of the images she use for prayer is that it is like preparing a garden for god hence the imagery and title - if you are coming we will be having a garden theme so do bring a few plants, compost, food waste, tools or any other such items! there will be space for prayer… looking forward to it though i'll be racing back from leicester where i am speaking at a day on vocation (which i am also looking forward to). it starts at 8pm at st marys ealing and there's a café afterwards so plan to stick around.

back in silence

it was lovely this week to get a few days retreat/silence/space for prayer. i found st clare's portiuncula on the web through the retreats web site. it is hosted by a fransiscan sisters community. the space itself has five rooms (hermitages) with a gorgeous view over the valley. the building is about 10 years old, beautifully designed with a lovely fountain in the centre that symbolises the overflowing of god's love for the world, and a chapel. it also has a peace garden with a gorgeous labyrinth in the chartres design. one morning when i walked this labyrinth it was so frosty that after each step the coldness of the stone left a frosty footprint as you can see in the photo. each day i met with one of the nuns to chat about how i was doing which was also helpful. i mostly tried to be silent and walk and pray and think but i did read chesterton's biography of st francis while i was there which was a good companion. it was a great way to head into lent...

finding stillness

ian adams has a ten minute or so reflection on finding stillness on the nomad podcast...

colours of prayer - grace tomorrow night

grace on staurday night combines rug making, colour and prayer - intrigued? so am i... maybe see you there

hello america i have news for you!

proost now has a us site

for years we have had this cool little thing in the uk called proost which is home to wonderful inspiring resources that have been produced from artists and communities doing creative things. this includes movies, books of authentic liturgies, music, experiences such as the labyrinth and so on. but to access the resources you no longer have to come to the uk site and negotiate foreign currency of pounds - it's all in dollars. 

the big deal (and you guys love both big and deal) is that you can subscribe for a hundred dollars for a year and that enables you to log in to the back end of the site and download anything you like. 

we have some friends in the usa but not enough! so if you know about us do spread the word - in many ways this is still a hidden gem. but thought you'd like to know...

wild spirit - new on proost

excited about a new resource on proost this month - it's a collection of prayers from russ parker on the theme of wild spirit. russ led the pilgrimage to ireland i went on recently and we've known each other for probably 25 years now. this is typical russ - raw, direct, impassioned, creative and infused with longing and a wildness of the spirit... a must and ideal for pentecost of course. here's the latest proost news as well.

on pilgrimage 3: rumours of deeper things

a few years ago i went on retreat with chris goan and aoradh community to an uninhabited scottish island. it was a fabulous trip and they are off again this weekend to a western isle. i must go back!

chris has posted a series of 12 dispatches/short poems that he wrote and has posted on cliff tops at the start of such retreats. they are totally wonderful both for retreat and/or pilgrimage. the reason i have added them on pilgrimage is that i happen to have a series on the go for that and they seem to connect with the wild places and wild spirituality akin to the irish pilgrimage.

here's the first and go here to find all twelve...

There are rumours-

Like smoke signals blurred in desert wind
They say

He is here

Not in metaphor
Not whipped up in the collective madness of charismata
Not just politely suggested by the high drama of religious ritual-

Here

Sweating
Breathing
With mud on his shoes...

[worship trick 52, series 4]

in spite of us

lovely prayer from cheryl lawrie (as ever...)

In spite of our doubts,
may we recognise you in our midst:
wounded, bloody, and resurrected

in spite of our doubts,
may we know when we come face to face
with the love that is greater than all deaths

in spite of our doubts,
may we reach out to touch the wounds of the world’s pain
trusting that when grace and love surround them
they will become part of Christ’s resurrected body.

and in spite of our doubts,
may we live as though we are, too.

[worship trick 51, series 4]

new artists on proost - getting ready for easter...

if you are planning ahead for easter have a look at proost resources for easter there's some classics there and a few new things. 

on the subject of new it's wonderful to have a new artist or two on proost - steve leach (who is also training on the cms pioneer course) has an ep gardens with three electronic tracks responding to the three gardens of eden, gethsemane and paradise. 

restless: evening prayer for restless hearts also looks and sounds really beautiful - from tim snyder and aaron strumpel - both also new on proost! the sample track on this page is quite amazing...

practising spirituality through apps - examine

i remember when we created the labyrinth at st pauls cathedral how surprised i was that lighting a candle on a laptop by clicking on it with a mouse felt right - it was conducive to prayer, it mediated a spiritual encounter. that was back in 2000 and the world of digital technology has changed enormously...

on saturday at grace at home in the world we were exploring ignatian spirituality and in the grace facebook page is a list of suggestions of resources for people to follow that up. we did an examen at grace and one that was mentioned was an app called examine which i have since added to my phone and intend to try and use. it enables you to do the ignatian examen and it tracks the previous 90 days so you can get a sense of the flow. i'll let you know how i find it. i am making it a worship trick - 50 in series 4.

but it got me wondering what apps people use for prayer and spirtuality on a regular basis. perhaps if you have some you use, you could leave a comment, a tweet, or facebook message? it might also be that you have ideas for an app?! in which case add those as well.

practice takes practise - running over rocks

ian adams latest book running over rocks came out over the summer. i read it on holiday (our holiday started out sharing a meal with ian and gail before cycling from south to north devon so it was nice to catch up with ian as well). it's a lovely book of spiritual practices.

there are a number of reasons i like the book. 

the first is that i think i have become more and more interested in how to live a life. that is perhaps a glaringly obvious thing to say. is there any other option? in the summer john drane was reflecting with some of our pioneer students that the old adage believe-belong-behave had been reconstructed some years back as belong-believe-behave but now the front foot is perhaps on behave-belong-believe. i can think of a thousand argumenst to have with that phrase anyway which is not the point - the point is that it reminded me that lifestyle or how to live out a life as a human, as a person, in community, following christ, that somehow makes a difference in the world is what many people are seeking after. in other words its a life that is embodied, lived, practised. i certainly am interested in a life of faith that enables me to live in a more christlike, prayerful way, paying attention to the world, god, others. 

the second is that i think ian has a great way with language - he seems to talk about faith in a way that is open and welcoming and accessible and creative. i am sure he has thought hard and worked carefully on this. it's no mean feat. 

the third is that the practices are really good and helpful. there are 52 in total and they are organised into sections - like earth and body, stillness and movement, possibility and so on. you can dive into any section or any practice. you could pick a practice each week of the year. i think it would make a good book for a community to go through in a season like lent. the practices are also a good mix of ancient tried and tested along with creative and fresh ideas. here's how ian describes practices in the intro

Practices are the earthy business of encountering ideas, then working out how they might take shape in us. They help us move from aspiration to reality. They work slowly over time. We shouldn't expect immediate results, but we can expect that through them the change for good that we seek will come, gradually forming something new within us.

the fourth is that ian has great wisdom. he has soaked himself in much of the understandings of those who have navigated the religious life and draws on it in a way that is accessible but has depth. the section of practices of descent is a good example. 

the fifth is that ian has written a poem for each practice so there are over 50 poems which is a delightful addition. 

practice takes practise - in other words this is not a book to read like i did - in a week! it's one to try out and practise. in my defence i have kept the book with my journal having read it so that i will come back to many of the practices. it reminds me a little bit of anthony de mello's book sadhana a way to god - which is a book i have come back to so many times with its spiritual exercises. 

ian and gail are leading a retreat in may which looks like an absolute bargain if you would like a weekend to be introduced to some of the ideas. 

on silence [6] - words to ponder

this is the sixth in a series of blog posts on silence. see also:

on silence [1] - fragile poet | on silence [2] - in the Presence of Silence | on silence [3] - ineffable and inephotographable | on silence [4] - individually guided retreats | on silence [5] - soulwork

these are a few quotes i stumbled across on silence on my retreat

The voice of God is best heard in silence (Anthony De Mello)

If you love truth be a lover of silence... More than all things love silence: It brings you a fruit that tongue cannot describe (Isaac of Ninevah)

Filling every part of this infinity of infinity there is a silence, a silence which is not an absence of sound but which is the object of a positive sensation, more positive than that of sound. Noises if there are any only reach me after crossing the silence. (Simone Weil)

I have shown you the power of silence, how thoroughly it heals and how fully pleasing it is  to God (Desert Father Amononas)

Sometimes you have to disconnect to connect (James Martin)

this is a prayer that i breathed in and out for the first two days i think to help me slow down. i have loved this prayer for years and posted it as a worship trick way back in the first series. on the first evening of the retreat the two lines 'say nothing, ask nothing' summed up my intention for the retreat. i wasn't there for activity or even lots of words in prayer but simply to be in the Presence of Silence.

Be silent
Be still
Alone
Empty
Before your God
Say nothing
Ask nothing
Be silent
Be still
Let your God look upon you
That is all
She knows
She understands
She loves you with an enormous love
She only wants to look upon you with her love
Quiet
Still
Be

this may seem a slightly stranger one but the recent single from the villagers 'nothing arrived' first struck me when i was preparing a grace service exploring the ideas of john of the cross. he suggests that we need to let go of our desires for ambition, pleasure, knowledge, possessions and religious experience. and in doing so paradoxically find peace and union with god. i'm sure it's not quite what the villagers had in mind but it's been knocking around my head ever since and came to me several times on retreat. 

I waited for Something, and Something died
So I waited for Nothing, and Nothing arrived
It's our dearest ally, it's our closest friend
It's our darkest blackout, it's our final end
My dear sweet Nothing, let's start a new
From here all in is just me and you

I waited for Something and Something died
So I waited for Nothing, and Nothing arrived
Well I guess it's over, I guess it's begun
It's a losers' table, but we've already won
It's a funny battle, it's a constant game
I guess I was busy when Nothing came

I guess I was busy (when Nothing arrived)

bruce cockburn's song 'mystery' has some lovely lines that in the beauty of the environment i sang to myself in the silence. these are a few

You can't tell me there is no mystery
It's everywhere I turn...

Infinity always gives me vertigo
And fills me up with grace...

And don't tell me there is no mystery
It overflows my cup...

This feast of beauty can intoxicate
Just like the finest wine

and in a moment of feeling at one with the world, with god, with myself, experiencing being looked upon by the love that loves us, of union or connectedness 'gorecki' by lamb (which i last heard i think at nic's funeral or at least it will forever be associated with that in my mind) was just extraordinarily appropriate, ecstatic even as i sat on a bench in the woods 

If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you
Still my heart this moment
Or it might burst
Could we stay right here
Until the end of time until the earth stops turning
Wanna love you until the seas run dry
I've found the one I've waited for

All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs
Wanna stay right here
Until the end of time
'til the earth stops turning
Gonna love you until the seas run dry
I've found the one I've waited for

The one I've waited for 

All I've known
All I've done
All I've felt was leading to this
All I've known
All I've done
All I've felt was leading to this
Wanna stay right here
'til the end of time 'till the earth stops turning
I'm gonna love you till the seas run dry
I've found the one I've waited for
The one I've waited for

morning bell

ian adams runs morning bell - it's a simple e-mail and usually one sentence to reflect on prayerfully each day, a call to prayer. it gets sent via e-mail, twitter, facebook - take your pick. i realise i think i have never made it a worship trick so will add it to the series...

starting today is a series on silence with images and thoughts from me...

on silence [5] - soulwork

this is the fifth in a series of blog posts on silence. see also:

on silence [1] - fragile poet | on silence [2] - in the Presence of Silence | on silence [3] - ineffable and inephotographable | on silence [4] - individually guided retreats

at the end of my retreat i looked back and had written about 65 pages in a journal trying to notice what i was experiencing. and i summarised in the last conversation with my guide for the week in three themes which were contemplatve prayer, soulwork and vocation which i pictured as a cord of three threads woven together. i want to say something here about the middle one - what i call soulwork.

i remember being astonished when i watched the tv series the big silence at how powerful it seemed for the people to be in silence. they were from different walks of life and not particularly religious. but for all of them in different ways once they had slowed down somewhat they seemed to notice things about themselves and their lives - whether to do with deep longings, resltessness, vocation, grief, woundedness, who they are. it just surfaced whether in memories, dreams, prayer, or from seemingly nowhere. perhaps this is why some people seem afraid of silence, we're actually afraid of facing ourselves? i quite liked kester's thought on this that the word retreat may not be a great description of this kind of experience - it's not an escape, but more a moving forwards by to put it bluntly dealing with some of our own shit. but what was lovely is that stuff surfaced in an environment that felt safe for those people because it was guided and  it was in the Presence of Silence, which is a presence of unequivocal embrace and acceptance by the love that loves us, a presence that enfolds and holds us in our own vulnerability and woundedness. i appreciate that for some that experience of presence may not be your own - i have a faith and belief in god who is like this and is in some extraordinary way a friend of the world who reaches out in relationship. but i also think that many artists and poets have named the experience of this presence intuitively in similar ways. it's hard to describe - ineffable in fact!

i had three dreams in the week that ended up being quite significant soulwork. i won't share the details of them all as i don't want to hang my soul out in public in too raw a fashion all in one go. but i'll share one that's weird enough - in it i was kissed on the mouth by a girl who seemed familiar but i didn't think i knew. at the time i was trying to be welcoming in setting up an event. the dream then shifted to being at a family gathering in which people were watching movie clips. i was sat with my two lads and laughing and joking. as one clip was shown i asked them what they thought. and one shrugged and said 'that was 17 years ago'. i knew that they were asking why there was a gap since then with nothing inbetween. i went inside a marquee to get a glass of wine a little confused. as i began to uncork a bottle the cork burst out and sparkling red wine overflowed and i wasn't expecting it to be sparkling. 

i find dreams intrigung and have had a few over the years that have been significant. what i think is disarming about dreams is that they come from the leftfield (whether as gifts or written out of some deep place in ourselves or both?) somehow bypassing the rational filters and defences we so readily have in place. immediately i began thinking about 17 years. what happened 17 years ago? and over breakfast a memory came back to me that i suspect was almost exactly 17 years ago in which i was hurt and lost trust. as it turns out that wounded me a lot deeper than i liked to admit at the time. i'm not going to spell that out in a blog post for the world to see. but essentially through the dream and then in conversation with my guide i became convinced that a part of me had fragmented, split off or been shut away (or bottled up!) because of my own woundedness and loss of trust. so i spent some of the next days reflecting on what this part of me is, talking to her, and welcoming her back into my life, praying for integration where there had been fragmentation. i experienced the Presence of Silence somehow holding me together almost literally in a healing way. i suspect this will take quite some time to settle down in me and work through its implications. i think i have a good sense of what this part of me is and hope i can help her flourish as i learn to trust again. 

this is weird i know - do feel free to move on and ignore this post! but this is one of the things that happened to me when i stepped out of noise and into silence. i wasn't expecting it. i went to slow down and be in silence. i didn't even know it was there or an issue. i have no basis for supporting this other than an intuition but i have wondered since how many times that part of me has tried to get my attention and failed over the last seventeen years. the wine was just waiting to burst out after all. in silence there is time to notice, time to pay attention, time for our attention to be got, time to become aware. and stuff surfaces, stuff happens in the Presence of Silence and it is soulwork. 

becoming who you are is what many contemplatives suggest is our life's work. thomas merton has a fairly oft quoted line on this 

There is only one problem on which all my existence, my peace and my happiness depend: to discover myself in discovering God. If I find Him I will find myself and if I find my true self I will find him.

in some ways it's a bit counter intuitive as they also have an emphasis on letting go, on emptying yourself out but i came to experience a whisper in the Presence of Silence of two simple word that said to me as i was wrapped and held together in my cloak and the love that loves us - be you. since the silence i hope to try and lean into that a little more, become a bit more me.